Every “No” is Not the Same
Before a prospect becomes a client, I take them through a series of questions. This preliminary financial coaching session is thirty-minutes, complimentary and designed to give prospects a sense of my style and what they can expect from our engagement. It also gives them (and me) a picture of their current financial state, revealing what they have, what they tend to do with what they have, and why – rather than what they think they have, tend do, or why. Finally, this in-take call provides immediate feedback regarding the next steps to take, along with a framework for how best to use our coaching time benchmarked to their goals and budget.
Prospects are always amazed at what they discover about themselves from my seventeen (17) deceivingly simple, closed-ended questions and the conversation they spark. Yet, they don’t always choose to move forward.
Sometimes I get a courtesy call or email from the prospect regarding their decision; at other times, the “no” comes by default, i.e., they don’t respond to my follow-up efforts. And even though I know “no” is simply part of the business development process and shouldn’t be taken personally, I dislike hearing it nonetheless. However, I’ve learned there are two types of no’s; one is engaging where the other isn’t. In the past, I would fixate on the latter “no” – otherwise known as the no by default, which is non-engaging and doesn’t offer an opportunity to get any feedback. (Does this remind you of anything? Have you ever obsessed on why the guy/gal you like didn’t call again?)
I’ve learned to pay more attention to the former “no.” As happened recently when a prospect sent an email letting me know that she and her husband where not moving forward. I, in effect, asked, “Why not?” with the following email reply: “Knowing why people move forward is just as important as knowing what influences their decision not to. So, any feedback on that front would be greatly appreciated.” Their response: a) “it wasn’t a good time given my fees, and b) they wanted a traditional financial planner.” Consequently, I offered to refer them to someone who might be a better fit.
How do you typically handle hearing “no”? Granted, there’s not much you can do when you have to assume that no response is a response — other than accept it. But, do you capitalize on the gift you are given when you’re informed of the no directly? Do you view it as a chance to nurture a relationship? If not, try this the next time you don’t get the new job you went through five rounds of interviews for; or the promotion you’ve been lobbying all year for; or when the prospect you’ve been wooing doesn’t convert to a client: Ask, “Why not?” or some variation thereof.
In other words, don’t be afraid to ask the reason for the no. The exchange can provide an unprecedented opportunity, especially if the feedback is information specific, issue-focused, and observational. When it comes to your professional life, knowing why not is extremely important and valuable. And, you never know what doors may be subsequently opened as a result of your willingness to ask the question that usually goes unasked.
